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HURT

I have been divorced six months now, but he left me 2 years ago.

I still feel broken, like my heart, my life has fallen apart.

I still feel like a failure, like it was all my fault that my family fell apart. I lost everything.


I still find it hard to read about love without my heart hurting.

Watch a “chic” flick without welling up with tears. I cover my mouth with my hands to muffle screams of hurt and shame and pain and sadness.

I have such a great sense of loss. I wish I was over it!


The wound is still very deep and sore.

I still feel abandoned, thrown away, discarded like I was worthless.

Am I not worthy of love, to be treasured, to be appreciated?

Am I not worthy?


I look back and see sadness, and unhappiness, and a loveless relationship.

I look ahead and see me getting older with no prospects of being loved by a man again,

Being loved by a man in the way God loved the church and gave his life for it.


I wish I was not the kind of woman who has such a great desire to be in a loving, passionate, happy relationship with my man. If only I had one.

I don’t ever want to go back to what I had before, who I had before - loveless.

I should be happy about being free, so why has my freedom imprisoned me?


I look around and see nothing, I see loneliness, I see emptiness.

Where is my future?

Will I continue for the rest of my days alone?

I must have faith. I’m trying to have faith.

No one knows that my heart is bleeding. Does anyone care?


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